Poptrocities: A Cougar Family Christmas

When I don't have the time to get personal, I will contribute in the form of this segment.

Poptrocities: A critical assessment of the new Christmas canon.

Picking and prying at those little ditties (usually from the "A Very Special Christmas" series) that have become staples on those ill-guided though well-meaning radio stations that decide to go to an "All Christmas" format sometime just prior to or after the onset of Advent.

Today: John Cougar Mellencamp's "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"



What goes right:
- Everything (and I do mean everything) about that fiddler.
- The diversity amongst the back-up singers. Two black ladies, one very white child... anyone wanna wager on whose illegitimate tour child that is? My money's on the accordion player.
- The bass drum art. I'm unsure, but it could be a Country & Westernified portrait of Our Lord and Saviour.
- Cougar's vest. Who does that nowadays?
- 2:29... fast forward it if you must... that is not nerves... that is genuine fear of what will happen if she for one minute ignores what Johnny Cougar wants her to do. You never, never mess with the Coug.

What goes wrong:
- That first shot: possibly single-handedly killed the acid wash revolution. The two musicians also appear to be in an unmovable former failed attempt at the splits.
- The scores of empty seats behind the stage. I think they're going for a Bon Jovi-esque "rehearsal" feel, but I can't help but think people were invited and just knew what to expect.
- Mellencamp's hair: True Blood called, they thank you for the inspiration.
- Thank GOD that kid doesn't get a face full of bells... who taught her how to play that thing?
- The bongos behind the back-up singers. In the words of Sam the Eagle: "Why am I here?"
- Fear or no fear - that kid should be able to stay on key if she's gonna back the Cougar.